backport: bitcoin#18275, #20220, #20305, #20410, #20426, #20573, #21083, #21201, #21786, #21787 (fee backports)

backport: bitcoin#18275, #20220, #20305, #20410, #20426, #20573, #21083, #21201, #21786, #21787 (fee backports) #8784