From e617faacf8d62ec029c78dc971fddcbb6b465c04 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Joey Stanford Date: Tue, 27 Feb 2024 14:32:01 -0700 Subject: [PATCH 1/3] Grammar fixes including fixing missing oxford comas. --- index.html | 20 ++++++++++---------- 1 file changed, 10 insertions(+), 10 deletions(-) diff --git a/index.html b/index.html index 7eff4c7e..cf9f0b10 100644 --- a/index.html +++ b/index.html @@ -633,7 +633,7 @@ Data governance is the system of principles that regulate [=information flows=]. [=Data governance=] determines how -which [=actors=] can collect what [=data=] and how they may, must, or must not [=process=] it + [=actors=] can collect what [=data=] and how they may, must, or must not [=process=] it ([[?GKC-Privacy]], [[?IAD]]). This document provides building blocks for [=data governance=] that puts [=people=] first. @@ -663,7 +663,7 @@ recognizable or obvious to a user within a particular interaction. Visiting a website may involve the actors that contribute to operating that site, but also actors with network access, which may include: Internet service providers; other network operators; local institutions providing -a network connection including schools, libraries or universities; government intelligence services; +a network connection including schools, libraries, or universities; government intelligence services; malicious hackers who have gained access to the network or the systems of any of the other actors. High-level threats including [=surveillance=] may be pursued by these actors. Pervasive monitoring, a form of large-scale, indiscriminate surveillance, is a known attack on the privacy of users of the @@ -793,9 +793,9 @@ no way of knowing that a person is vulnerable. Some individuals may be more vulnerable to privacy risks or harm as a result of -collection, misuse, loss or theft of personal data because: +collection, misuse, loss, or theft of personal data because: -* of their attributes, interests, opinions or behaviour; +* of their attributes, interests, opinions, or behaviour; * of the situation or setting (e.g. where there is information asymmetry or other power imbalances); * they lack the capacity to fully assess the risks; @@ -807,12 +807,12 @@ Additional privacy protections may be needed for personal data of vulnerable people or [sensitive information](#hl-sensitive-information) which could cause -someone to become vulnerable if their personal data is collected, used or -shared (e.g. blocking tracking elements, sensor data or information about +someone to become vulnerable if their personal data is collected, used, or +shared (e.g. blocking tracking elements, sensor data, or information about installed software or connected devices). While sometimes others can help vulnerable people assess privacy risks and -make decisions about privacy (such as parents, [=guardians=] and peers), everyone +make decisions about privacy (such as parents, [=guardians=], and peers), everyone has their own right to privacy. ### Guardians {#guardians} @@ -929,7 +929,7 @@ captured in the same picture would prefer their participation not to be disclosed. Another example of such issues are sites that enable people to upload their contacts: the person performing the upload might be more open to disclosing their social networks than the people they are connected to -are. Such issues do not necessarily admit simple, straightforward solutions but they need to be +are. Such issues do not necessarily admit simple, straightforward solutions, but they need to be carefully considered by people building websites. ### Transparency and Research {#transparency-for-research} @@ -1046,7 +1046,7 @@ Once one is choosing between different designs at the Pareto frontier, the choice of which privacy principles to prefer is complex and depends heavily on the details of each -particular situation. Note that people's privacy can also be in tension +particular situation. Note that peoples' privacy can also be in tension with non-privacy concerns. As discussed in the [[[Ethical-Web]]], "it is important to consider the context in which a particular technology is being applied, the expected audience(s) for the technology, who the technology benefits and who it may disadvantage, @@ -1063,7 +1063,7 @@ This is a special case of the more general principle that data should not be used for more purposes than those specified when the data was collected. -Services sometimes use people's data in order to protect those or other people. +Services sometimes use peoples' data in order to protect those or other people. A service that does this should explain what data it's using for this purpose. It should also say how it might use or share a person's data if it believes that person has violated the service's rules. From 3cffa6a40d099b904c7de5d35717a5b78cc12288 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Robin Berjon Date: Wed, 28 Feb 2024 12:23:27 -0500 Subject: [PATCH 2/3] Update index.html --- index.html | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/index.html b/index.html index cf9f0b10..73305bd0 100644 --- a/index.html +++ b/index.html @@ -633,7 +633,7 @@ Data governance is the system of principles that regulate [=information flows=]. [=Data governance=] determines how - [=actors=] can collect what [=data=] and how they may, must, or must not [=process=] it +which [=actors=] can collect what [=data=] and how they may, must, or must not [=process=] it ([[?GKC-Privacy]], [[?IAD]]). This document provides building blocks for [=data governance=] that puts [=people=] first. From 9d494f6bc5069599a978354fa52fde6f89729457 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Jeffrey Yasskin Date: Wed, 28 Feb 2024 09:23:50 -0800 Subject: [PATCH 3/3] "people's" was correct --- index.html | 4 ++-- 1 file changed, 2 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-) diff --git a/index.html b/index.html index 73305bd0..bd05044d 100644 --- a/index.html +++ b/index.html @@ -1046,7 +1046,7 @@ Once one is choosing between different designs at the Pareto frontier, the choice of which privacy principles to prefer is complex and depends heavily on the details of each -particular situation. Note that peoples' privacy can also be in tension +particular situation. Note that people's privacy can also be in tension with non-privacy concerns. As discussed in the [[[Ethical-Web]]], "it is important to consider the context in which a particular technology is being applied, the expected audience(s) for the technology, who the technology benefits and who it may disadvantage, @@ -1063,7 +1063,7 @@ This is a special case of the more general principle that data should not be used for more purposes than those specified when the data was collected. -Services sometimes use peoples' data in order to protect those or other people. +Services sometimes use people's data in order to protect those or other people. A service that does this should explain what data it's using for this purpose. It should also say how it might use or share a person's data if it believes that person has violated the service's rules.