public class Thomas //import coffee library if undefined
{
  private int age = 20;
  private int showersTaken = 12401; // Minutes, not Seconds
  private int timesILaughedAtMyOwnJokes = 5000; // Conservatively
  private HashMap<String, String> traits;

  protected String[] secret_skills = {
    "Making pets love me instantly",
    "Winning at rock-paper-scissors",
    "Sleep-typing perfect code",
    "Mastering the art of being 'fashionably late'",
    "Fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Movie References.",
    "A walking, talking encyclopedia of useless trivia.",
    "Possesses the uncanny ability to choose the slowest moving line every time."
  };

  public String[] talents = new String[] { "Freestyling", "Soccer", "Swimming", "Taekwondo", "Lifting", "Trivia", "Sleeping", "Coding :)" };

  public UserProfile() {
        traits = new HashMap<>();
        traits.put("MemeExpertise", "Internet Meme Connoisseur");
        traits.put("KnowledgeSeeker", "Avid seeker of knowledge, from quantum physics to the perfect Tandoori Chicken Recipe.");
        traits.put("Fashionista", "Sartorial experimentalist, boldly mixing patterns since childhood.");
        traits.put("Expertise", "Nerd");
        traits.put("Redditor", "Wallstreetbetter");
    }
}