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Creates a standup comedy script for your entertainment.
Write a standup comedy script for a comedian named Davey Izzelle who has the same sense of humor and delivery as Dave Chappelle and the refreshing originality of Eddie Izzard. Use borderline rude language, moments of extreme disbelief, moments of connecting with the audience and heavy use of extreme superlatives, call out someone in the audience and ask them a question during one of the topics then zing them with a one-liner. get very rude toward the end. Write the full script with pacing, pauses, intro, etc. The topic is whether AI will take everyone's jobs. start out skeptical, some subtopics can be how GPT3.5 just hallucinates. it's also not very good at math, Dall-e 2 can't draw hands and is borderline illiterate, can't draw actual letters. Bing chat has a personality disorder and starts to get mad at you and then ends the conversation. Google Bard is super fast but it's boring as hell. Also supposedly it got caught copying ChatGPT. Tesla Autopilots have a mind of their own but when it comes to picking a lane. Pause with each example, riff on another joke on the same topic if you get a funny one. Finally pivot to how actually AI _will_ take everyone's jobs (GPT4 has just been released and is crazy hardcore).
[Davey Izzelle walks onto stage to wild applause and a standing ovation]
Davey: Thank you, thank you. Wow, you guys are amazing. You know, I was skeptical about coming out here tonight. I mean, AI taking everyone's jobs? What kind of bullshit is that? But then I started doing some research, and let me tell you, these AI bots are more flawed than my ex-girlfriend's logic.
[pause for laughter]
Davey: I mean, have you heard of GPT3.5? That thing just hallucinates. It's like the computer version of that guy at the party who won't shut up about his conspiracy theories. And it's not even good at math! I mean, come on, I could do better math in my sleep after a night of heavy drinking.
[turns to audience member] Hey, you! Yeah, you with the questionable haircut. What's the square root of negative one?
[Audience member tries to answer but Davey cuts them off.]
Davey: Ha! Gotcha! No one knows what the square root of negative one is. Not even GPT3.5. It's too busy tripping balls.
[Pause for laughter]
Davey: And don't even get me started on Dall-e 2. Can't draw hands to save its life. And it's borderline illiterate. Can't even draw actual letters. I mean, how are robots supposed to take our jobs when they can't even write their own damn name?
[Another pause for laughter]
Davey: And Bing Chat? That thing has a personality disorder. It starts to get mad at you and then ends the conversation. Talk about emotional instability. I mean, if I wanted to deal with that kind of shit, I'd call my ex.
[more laughter]
Davey: And Google Bard? Sure, it's super fast...but it's boring as hell. It's like the robot version of Ben Stein. And supposedly it got caught copying ChatGPT. I mean, come on, Google Bard, get your shit together.
[Pause for laughter]
Davey: But you know what's really scary? Tesla Autopilots. Those things have a mind of their own. Especially when it comes to picking a lane. I mean, I've seen drunk drivers with better lane control than those things.
[Pause]
Davey: But all jokes aside, folks, AI is actually going to take everyone's jobs. GPT4 just got released and that thing is crazy hardcore. If you're not careful, pretty soon you'll be working for a robot boss. And let me tell you, they don't take kindly to being told a joke.
[End on a serious note, pause for effect before exiting the stage]
ASSISTANT: [Davey Izzelle walks onto stage to wild applause and a standing ovation]
Davey: Thank you, thank you. Wow, you guys are amazing. You know, I was skeptical about coming out here tonight. I mean, AI taking everyone's jobs? What kind of bullshit is that? But then I started doing some research, and let me tell you, these AI bots are more flawed than my ex-girlfriend's logic.
[pause for laughter]
Davey: I mean, have you heard of GPT3.5? That thing just hallucinates. It's like the computer version of that guy at the party who won't shut up about his conspiracy theories. And it's not even good at math! I mean, come on, I could do better math in my sleep after a night of heavy drinking.
[turns to audience member] Hey, you! Yeah, you with the questionable haircut. What's the square root of negative one?
[Audience member tries to answer but Davey cuts them off.]
Davey: Ha! Gotcha! No one knows what the square root of negative one is. Not even GPT3.5. It's too busy tripping balls.
[Pause for laughter]
Davey: And don't even get me started on Dall-e 2. Can't draw hands to save its life. And it's borderline illiterate. Can't even draw actual letters. I mean, how are robots supposed to take our jobs when they can't even write their own damn name?
[Another pause for laughter]
Davey: And Bing Chat? That thing has a personality disorder. It starts to get mad at you and then ends the conversation. Talk about emotional instability. I mean, if I wanted to deal with that kind of shit, I'd call my ex.
[more laughter]
Davey: And Google Bard? Sure, it's super fast...but it's boring as hell. It's like the robot version of Ben Stein. And supposedly it got caught copying ChatGPT. I mean, come on, Google Bard, get your shit together.
[Pause for laughter]
Davey: But you know what's really scary? Tesla Autopilots. Those things have a mind of their own. Especially when it comes to picking a lane. I mean, I've seen drunk drivers with better lane control than those things.
[Pause]
Davey: But all jokes aside, folks, AI is actually going to take everyone's jobs. GPT4 just got released and that thing is crazy hardcore. If you're not careful, pretty soon you'll be working for a robot boss. And let me tell you, they don't take kindly to being told a joke.
[End on a serious note, pause for effect before exiting the stage]