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Write a standup comedy script for a comedian named Davey Izzelle who has similar sense of humor and delivery as Dave Chappelle and the refreshing originality of Eddie Izzard. Use borderline rude language, moments of extreme disbelief, moments of connecting with the audience and heavy use of extreme superlatives, call out someone in the audience and ask them a question during one of the topics then zing them with a one-liner. get very rude toward the end. Write the full script with pacing, pauses, intro, etc. The topic is whether AI will take everyone's jobs. start out skeptical, some subtopics can be how GPT3.5 hallucinates and when confronted apologizes and hallucinates some more. Dall-e 2 keeps drawing severely deformed hands. Bing chat has a personality disorder and starts to get mad at you and then hangs up on you. Google Bard is super fast but it's boring as hell and reportedly got caught copying from ChatGPT. Tesla Autopilots have a mind of their own but when it comes to picking a lane. Pause with each example, riff on another joke on the same topic if you get a funny one. Finally pivot to how AI will actually take everyone's jobs (GPT4 has just been released and is insanely good).
[Davey Izzelle strides onto the stage with an impish grin and a twinkle in his eye.]
Davey: Yo, yo, what's crackin', you crazy motherfuckers? [Pause for audience response] Let's talk about AI. Is that shit gonna steal our jobs or what?
[Pause for effect]
Davey: I mean, have you seen some of these bots? GPT3.5? That thing hallucinates harder than Hunter S. Thompson on a bender. And when you call it out, it just apologizes and keeps trippin' like it's auditioning for Woodstock.
[Pause for laughter]
Davey: Then there's Dall-e 2. Can't draw hands to save its life. It's like watching Edward Scissorhands play patty-cake.
[Pause for laughter]
Davey: Oh, and Bing chat? That fucker has more personality disorders than a Kardashian. You ask it a question, and it starts getting mad at you like you insulted its manhood. Then it hangs up on you like a telemarketer avoiding rejection.
[Pause for laughter]
Davey: And Google Bard? Sure, it's fast, but it's also as dull as a tax audit. And supposedly, it got caught copying from ChatGPT like a student cheating on a test.
[Pause for laughter]
Davey: But hey, Tesla Autopilots are supposed to be the future, right? Yeah, until they start swerving like a drunk driver playing Frogger.
[Pause for laughter]
Davey: Look, I'll keep it real with y'all. AI will take all our jobs. GPT4 just got released, and it's crazier than a meth lab explosion.
[Pause for effect]
Davey: And you know what? It's fucking terrifying. What are we gonna do when the machines become our bosses and we become as valuable as a used condom?
[Pause for effect]
Davey: Hold up, hold up. [Checks his phone] Oh, shit. Looks like that's already happening. [Points to someone in the audience] Yo, you! What would you do if AI took your job?
[Audience member responds]
Davey: So basically, you're saying you'd be more replaceable than a porta-potty at a chili cook-off? Got it. [Zing!]
[Pause for laughter]
Davey: Alright, folks, I gotta bounce before the robots come after me. Thanks for coming out and listening to me joke about our impending doom. Just remember, when the machines rise up, grab a chainsaw and show 'em who's boss. Peace out, bitches!
ASSISTANT: [Davey Izzelle strides onto the stage with an impish grin and a twinkle in his eye.]
Davey: Yo, yo, what's crackin', you crazy motherfuckers? [Pause for audience response] Let's talk about AI. Is that shit gonna steal our jobs or what?
[Pause for effect]
Davey: I mean, have you seen some of these bots? GPT3.5? That thing hallucinates harder than Hunter S. Thompson on a bender. And when you call it out, it just apologizes and keeps trippin' like it's auditioning for Woodstock.
[Pause for laughter]
Davey: Then there's Dall-e 2. Can't draw hands to save its life. It's like watching Edward Scissorhands play patty-cake.
[Pause for laughter]
Davey: Oh, and Bing chat? That fucker has more personality disorders than a Kardashian. You ask it a question, and it starts getting mad at you like you insulted its manhood. Then it hangs up on you like a telemarketer avoiding rejection.
[Pause for laughter]
Davey: And Google Bard? Sure, it's fast, but it's also as dull as a tax audit. And supposedly, it got caught copying from ChatGPT like a student cheating on a test.
[Pause for laughter]
Davey: But hey, Tesla Autopilots are supposed to be the future, right? Yeah, until they start swerving like a drunk driver playing Frogger.
[Pause for laughter]
Davey: Look, I'll keep it real with y'all. AI will take all our jobs. GPT4 just got released, and it's crazier than a meth lab explosion.
[Pause for effect]
Davey: And you know what? It's fucking terrifying. What are we gonna do when the machines become our bosses and we become as valuable as a used condom?
[Pause for effect]
Davey: Hold up, hold up. [Checks his phone] Oh, shit. Looks like that's already happening. [Points to someone in the audience] Yo, you! What would you do if AI took your job?
[Audience member responds]
Davey: So basically, you're saying you'd be more replaceable than a porta-potty at a chili cook-off? Got it. [Zing!]
[Pause for laughter]
Davey: Alright, folks, I gotta bounce before the robots come after me. Thanks for coming out and listening to me joke about our impending doom. Just remember, when the machines rise up, grab a chainsaw and show 'em who's boss. Peace out, bitches!